Don't Love Me

If he likes you so much, why don't you give him a chance? It's not every day that the one you love loves you back...

Laying in the middle of the cul-de-sac the frigid asphalt almost felt comforting as each little drop of rain pecked his face. Memories of the conversation he had with the only person who knew his terrible illness played again and again through his head.

What if it's a joke? Maybe he'd flirting with me just to get me in a bad situation,,, like last time with Teddy.

How long are you going to hide behind what Theodore did to you just so you have a reason to be miserable and lonely?

The sky never looked so beautiful. The way it poured down, in strange spirals making puddles around his body and between his fingers. The way the liquid trickled delicately down his flesh, the way it sounded, the way it hugged his skin and tricked his mind into believing he wasn't the slightest bit cold... it was almost like floating in the bottom of a pool, opening your eyes and gazing at the reflection of the sun from under water. The mental image brought a smile to the brunette's face, suddenly filled with a haunted, giddy joy.


Isn't it more painful to love someone more than they love you anyway? I mean, it's not like I've ever talked to him.. .just admired him from a far... god I'm such a stalker...

Maybe he'd been admiring you from afar too? Maybe he noticed you staring and got tired of waiting for you to make the first move?

Or maybe he got tired of me staring and wants to teach me some manners...

You're such a debby downer!

Sighing, Al brought both hands to his head and raked his fingers through his drenched locks, laughing quietly to himself. The raindrops slipped through his lips and his tongue flicked out to lick away some of the excess liquid. As the male rose up to a sitting position he tried to recall the man's face, his features, the way he asked him out.

Hey, you're in my English Class.

It wasn't like any confession he had experienced before.

We're going out tomorrow. Movie theatre. Ten. Hunger Games. Be there.

Al's cheeks flushed at the memory, still smiling but with a certain kind of sadness reflecting in his eyes. Honestly, he didn't even know if the guy knew his name. Alistair. The guy certainly didn't try to make any further conversation. Before Al could even reply or get over the stun that shocked his core, his 'love' had walked away. The guy he had crushed over for three years... 'loved' according to the only one who knew he was gay. Admittedly he knew a lot about the guy, and admittedly he had followed him home one or two (dozen) times. Of course it was always from a distance and it was always while Al was caught in a daze.

Never had he bothered with anything like talking to him or being close enough for a conversation to take place. One time they were supposed to be partners in gym class, a 'shirts vs. skins' affair as one would have it. He remembered exactly what the guy said to him...

So who's skin and who's shirt? I'm fine with either really...

And without warning, Al held his stomach and pretended to be sick then ran off to the bathroom. Disgusting, truly, but he had to ensure that he didn't talk to this man. Why? ...talking to him might spark friendship. Friendship would spark vulnerability. Vulnerability would spark false hope. False hope would spark heart break and heart break would spark resentment. The last thing Al wanted to do was resent this person who's name he refused to even say out loud.

"Well it's... 11 now." Al said to himself as he examined the waterproof watch on his wrist. Shifting to his feet, Al decided to make his way to the movie theatre. Obviously he stood that man up. Obviously he wouldn't be there. Obviously this little shirade would be over, and if by some horrible chance the man was still there he already knew the words that would glide off his tongue. I thought it would be more fun to play in the rain than to spend time with you. Yeah, harsh and cruel. If the guy really was into him, all hope would be lost. If he was pretending then it would be obvious that he wasn't interested (even though he totally was). This pathetic game would be over and he could go back to 'admiring from afar' in silence. At this point he didn't care if he was hiding so he wouldn't get hurt, it worked for him. At this point he didn't care if his best friend thought he liked being miserable. Being miserable was better than being bitter, and in the end Al figured those were the only options he had in this world.

(random idea. 'mature' just incase, open)

'I came on too strong again. This is just like what happened the last time'

He was standing outside the movie theatre, the rain falling onto his skin, cooling him even as his anger warmed him up. It was anger at himself, at the boy whom he had asked out, and even at the sky for raining. Under it all though, he was disappointed. He thought he had read Alistair right, thought that the other boy liked him. Obviously he was wrong. 'Maybe I misinterpreted the signs.'

He stopped slouching, preparing to leave, when he saw a figure making it's way across the parking lot, slowly ambling, as though he had all the time in the world. His skin heated more as he saw the boy, and more than a little heat began generating further south. 'Damn it Trey, calm the fuck down. It might not even be him.' But it was, he knew, as the boy passed underneath a light and was illuminated. He took a deep breath, and steeling his nerves walked over to the boy.

He stood in front of him, and was looking down at his face when his anger spiked a little bit. "You're late. The movie started an hour ago. But... maybe if you give me a good excuse, I'll still take you to dinner." By the end, he realized it was very hard to keep his anger, and that it might just ruin everything anyway, so he chose his words carefully.

Wait he was actually here? Alistair was admittedly more shocked than he thought he would be and the speech he had been murmuring to himself instantly flew out the window. His eyes strained as he came to a stop before that demanding brat that had captivated his attention for far too long. "I forgot." The words slowly left his lips as liquid dripped from his hair, his nose, his fingertips, his clothes. He was drenched head to toe and in no way, shape nor form did he look appropriate for a date, since he hadn't expected the man who's name he refused to even think to still be here... waiting.

"I was playing in the rain and forgot." He added to appease the part of his brain that screamed at him for not being as harsh or cruel as he wanted to be to completely end any and all forms of hope sparking between them. Oh well. The excuse wasn't a good one. Maybe that would be enough for him to decide that this whole thing wasn't a good idea. "You were going to take me to dinner? Thought it was just a movie." He commented lightly while pushing a hand through his raven locks to sleek back his hair. Usually it was messy and in his face, hardly ever fully exposing his average features. At least, to him he looked average with the exception of his hazel eyes which desperately tried to make him look unique-and failed miserably.

(Parenthesis!: thank you for joining :3)

"It was supposed to be a surprise offer afterwards, depending on how good the movie went. You really forgot?" The skepticism in his voice was palpable. 'Maybe this was a mistake. But if he accepts, we'll at least try this.'

I had wanted to go over to the IHOP. Nothing too fancy, but it is open twenty four hours a day.